"Suffering from a bit of social anxiety, but looking to meet new people, eh? Let me write you up a little prescription for some Grape Mentats. They're non-addictive, of course...mostly."
-Doctor Johnny Carolina
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.MARTINE.
First Trader, "The Shrew"
Three decades ago, Sidehook was established as little more than an isolated trading post, and Martine was one of the first to set roots in the area. Through her shrewd business acumen and scrupulous conduct, she has carved out a solid reputation as one of the fairest and most trusted names in regional commerce. Her network of reliable, quality trade partners ensure that countless Trade Routes link Sidehook to other destinations throughout the Wasteland. Short of stature and meek of voice, the legendary Martine has earned the vaunted title "First Trader" by those around her, and none dispute her word when given. Martine heads the Iron Quarter of Sidehook, which is the financial heart of the city. A junker by trade, her army of Robotic guardians keep the peace.
.ELECTRIC ELEANOR.
Den Mother of the Sorority, "The Whore"
Spark Park is the liveliest of the three Districts in the sprawling city of Sidehook, and none encapsulate the celebratory, care-free nature of the quarter more than its charismatic figurehead, Electric Eleanor. Operating out of her Finishing School for Wayward Girls, Eleanor's all-female Sorority of agents, information dealers and prostitutes hold great sway in the Region, and her congenial southern nature and bewitching beauty are only rivaled by her cunning mind and personal philosophy of hedonistic excess. Eleanor has eyes and ears everywhere, and there is perilously little that happens in the Long Dry that she does not know about first.
.DOCTOR JOHNNY CAROLINA.
Baron of Botox, "The Freak"
The Master of the Plastic Alley neighborhood of Sidehook is the one and only Doctor Johnny, a nightmare-figure gruesomely altered by self-performed cosmetic surgery. From his agonizingly bright smile, to his unnaturally straight posture and gameshow host personality, this demented medical genius keeps the supply of illicit Chems flowing throughout the Long Dry. The good Doctor runs his mobile Clinic near a string of processing factories where he manufactures all manner of intoxicants, with his prized creation being his patented "Huff-Stuff," a noxious gas that allows the inhaler to relive unhappy milestones in their life, but this time, with much happier results. As a result of this wildly popular narcotic, Doctor Johnny wields considerable influence in Sidehook, and seeks to expand the minds of anyone willing to indulge in his sea of available chemical concoctions.
.NURSE LAUREN.
Sleepy Secretary
Personal assistant to the most powerful man in Plastic Alley, Nurse Lauren performs the mundane day-to-day operations of Doctor Johnny's Clinic, leaving the more...exotic procedures to the ingeniously steady hands of her famous employer.
Doctor Johnny's right hand man
Little is known about the jittery, overprotective Bodyguard of the Boss of Plastic Alley, save that Pierce's loyalty to his supplier is absolutely unquestioned, and he will gladly perform any depraved task that the good Doctor asks of him. A ravenous addiction to Doctor Johnny's Huff-Stuff has already cost Pierce one nose already, and he is dutifully working his way through his second. The most ardent of Doctor Johnny's supporters, Pierce is never far from his personal Chem-Deity's side.
.DOLORES.
Head of Security for the Sorority
The imposing and capable right hand of Electric Eleanor is the protective Wastelander known only as Dolores. Ever-faithful to the goals of her Mistress, Dolores wields her trademark Pump-Action Shotgun, "The Suitor Shooter", with devastating efficiency, and she keeps the peace in Spark Park and acts as the dull, hammer-like fist of her legendary employer.
.FLESHY FRANKY.
Voice of The Long Dry
He's hot. He's cool. He's nobody's fool. He's the ULTIMATE Ghoul! The most popular Radio Program in the entire Region is Fleshy Franky's Funhouse, hosted by none other than the Fleshy one himself! Tune in for all the latest Wasteland breaking news and toe-tapping jingles you can cut a rug to. Franky broadcasts from the glitzy Spark Park district of Sidehook, and his Radio signal is the strongest around.
.LESTER KANDRIAN.
Overseer of Vault 42, Father of Vapors
Undoubtedly one of the most brilliant minds in all of the Long Dry (just ask him), Overseer Kandrian was once a plucky idealist when he discovered the procedure for manufacturing the nigh-magical energy source known as Vapor 42 (named after his beloved Vault where the stuff was exhaustively researched and created). Once his grand masterwork was finished, the gifted Botanist and scientific mastermind benevolently shared his research with the Wasteland in hopes that they could unite under the umbrella of his genius and forge a better, more tranquil tomorrow. To the Overseer's horror, instead of uniting the Long Dry, his ingenious discovery has only brought more greed and turmoil to the Region in the seven years since it was first unveiled. Now sullen and withdrawn, the Overseer grows more and more bitter and distant with each passing day, leaving Vault 42 with less and less guidance, offering an uncertain future for those left under his rule.
Caravan Runner, Spirit-Talker
The Tribal known as Sleek Deer runs one of the many Caravan services offered through the Long Dry. As more and more newcomers clamber to seize the new opportunities opened up by Vapor 42, each and every day finds more and more strangers pouring into the Region via Caravans led by people like him. One of the more reliable and famed Caravan Runners, Sleek Deer possesses an ear that bends to the Spirits, and he claims that they offer him aid and wisdom in exchange for delicious treats. While some might claim he is merely scamming the naive for their precious rations, none can argue that the Tribal possesses knowledge and Wisdom outside the scope of casual observation.
.YURI BOGDAKOVA STEPANOV.
Proud Papa
Boistrous and brimming with positivity, the Russian Stepanov is outgoing and friendly, venturing to the Long Dry to surprise his son, Maksim, with an unsuspected reunion. Positive, loyal, and a veritable well of overwhelming excitement, Papa Stepanov has a deep love for his family and Comrades, and is one of the rare, true hearts in the careless, cruel Wasteland.
Respected/filthy rich Captain of Industry, Slave
The son of Stepanov had grand designs and big dreams when he ventured to the Long Dry to seek his destiny, but things didn't exactly pan out the way he had anticipated. Now strapped with an ingenious Bomb-Collar and enslaved under the First Trader, Martine, Maksim's misfortunes compound when an unsuspecting visit from his Father sheds light on the colorful fabrication of his lifestyle that he had been describing to his family in his boastful letters. Also...all the girls like him, too.
Super Vault Fighter 2 Champion, Raider RoxXxy enthusiast
Always craving excitement and thrills, young Mercedes has seen a lot in her 20 years. An adept at Computers and navigating her way around electronic security systems, Senorita Caldona cannot tolerate boredom and must hurl herself headlong into wherever the action is. Armed only with her keen wits and cheaply made shiv (named "Excessive Justice"), the young troublemaker has ventured to Sidehook to find her fortune in the big city.
.WESTON ELLOWS.
Mysterious Wanderer
Little is known about the traveler Weston Ellows. Light on words and none-too-trusting of Super Mutants (or people in general), the brusque Wastelander seems to keep his own counsel and keep his motivations and aims close to his chest. Seemingly holding a particular interest for the strange ramblings of the insane Chaplain Verard, Weston's reasons for traveling to Sidehook are currently unknown, but his capable demeanor and bleak outlook on life make him stand out from the rank and file, no matter how much he seeks to blend in and retain anonymity.
.DIPPO THE CLOWN.
The Merrymaking Mutant, Gigantic Jester
Once as aggressive and bloodthirsty as the rest of his brutal Kin, Dippo's life was changed forever after he tripped over a corpse and fell down a hill under the observation of a small Tribal boy who laughed at the comical sight. At first furious about the humiliation, Dippo felt a strange happiness warm his massive bones at making another living being laugh, and made it his life's mission to bring smiles and joy to the Wasteland ever since. After raiding a Party Store of its colorful contents, the Super Mutant set off in solitude to train in the mysterious arts of Clowning, seeking to perfect his act and bring bigtime chuckles back to the Long Dry. Also tells a pretty mean Willie Nelson joke.
.BLEAKFEATHER.
Queen of the Harpies
Cruel and sadistic, the Tribal known as Bleakfeather rules her high-ground kingdom alongside her endless flock of flesh-hungry Vultoons. Ever-consumed with keeping the sanctity of her precious nests pure, the Harpy-Queen makes no bones about her utter hatred for any living being who dares encroach upon her holy avian kingdom. Contrary to popular belief, she cannot fly.
.FRANCISCO RUIZ.
Electric Eleanor's #1 fan
The hermitous Junker has always preferred the company of machines to that of actual people...maybe a bit too much. Francisco resides in a heavily defended Junkyard out in the Long Dry, spending his days and nights trying to copy the mechanical perfection that is his sole paramour and fondest obsession: Electric Eleanor. Behind the razor-wire fence surrounding his Scrap kingdom, Ruiz fashions robotic...companions to spend his copious amounts of free time with, trying to somehow construct a mechanical bride for himself that is every bit as enchanting as the elusive original. As of late, his endeavors in Scrap-Robotics have branched out into Home Defense, and his newest creation is many times more dangerous (yet nowhere near as creepy) as his more domestic models.
.SAX MAX.
The Pied Piper of Plastic Alley
Anyone traveling down the cluttered, hopeless hellscape of Plastic Alley will hear all manner of unpleasant sounds, but over the wailing, hacking, coughing, and drug-fueled babbling, a smooth, soulful melody fills the air, all thanks to the masterful playing of the Ghoul known only as Sax Max. A virtuoso at the battered instrument he is never seen without, the snazzily-dressed performer is one of the only bright lights in Doctor Johnny Carolina's depressingly bleak Kingdom. It may not look it, but that Saxophone is actually a Code Red Weapon...
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